As the Senior Pastor of the Korean Community Church of New Jersey, I’ve seen many families embrace the Elf on the Shelf tradition during the Christmas season. This playful custom involves a special scout elf sent from the North Pole to help Santa Claus manage his naughty and nice lists. But what are the rules for this magical visitor?

In this post, I’ll explain the basic Elf on the Shelf rules and share some fun ideas to make this tradition extra special for your family.

What is Elf on the Shelf?

Before we discuss the rules, let’s talk about what Elf on the Shelf actually is. The Elf on the Shelf is a Christmas tradition based on a children’s book by Carol Aebersold and Chanda Bell. The story goes that Santa sends scout elves to watch over children during the day and report back to him at night about their behavior.

Each family’s elf arrives at their home at the beginning of the holiday season. The elf is usually accompanied by the book that explains the tradition. Families are encouraged to name their elf and welcome it into their home for the holidays.

The Basic Elf on the Shelf Rules

Now, let’s get into the main rules for Elf on the Shelf. Remember, these rules are meant to keep the magic alive for children and make the experience fun for everyone involved.

  1. Don’t Touch the Elf
    • The most important rule is that children should never touch the elf.
    • If touched, the elf might lose its magic and be unable to fly back to the North Pole.
    • Only grown-ups can touch the elf if absolutely necessary, but it’s best to avoid it.
  2. The Elf Moves Every Night
    • Each night, after everyone goes to bed, the elf flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa.
    • When the elf returns, it finds a new spot in the house to watch from.
    • Children enjoy searching for the elf each morning to see where it has moved.
  3. The Elf Doesn’t Talk or Move During the Day
    • While children are awake, the elf stays perfectly still and quiet.
    • It only moves at night when everyone is asleep.
  4. Give Your Elf a Name
    • Families should choose a special name for their elf.
    • This helps create a personal connection and makes the tradition more meaningful.
  5. The Elf Arrives After Thanksgiving
    • Typically, the elf appears sometime between Thanksgiving and December 1st.
    • Some families have their elf arrive on December 1st to mark the start of the Christmas countdown.
  6. The Elf Leaves on Christmas Eve
    • The elf’s job is done when Santa makes his big journey on Christmas Eve.
    • The elf returns to the North Pole with Santa after delivering presents.
what are the rules for elf on a shelf

Making the Most of Your Elf on the Shelf Experience

Now that we’ve covered the basic rules, let’s explore some ways to make this tradition even more exciting for your family.

Creative Elf Poses and Scenarios

One of the most fun aspects of Elf on the Shelf is coming up with creative places and poses for your elf each night. Here are some ideas:

  1. Kitchen Antics
    • Have your elf “bake” tiny cookies or make a mess with flour and sprinkles.
    • Set up the elf having a tea party with other toys.
  2. Bookworm Elf
    • Place the elf in a bookshelf, reading a tiny book.
    • Have the elf write a note to the kids using alphabet cereal.
  3. Silly Elf
    • Set up the elf doing something funny, like wearing doll clothes or riding a toy car.
    • Create a “snow angel” using sugar or flour with the elf in the middle.
  4. Helpful Elf
    • Show the elf “cleaning” with a tiny broom or duster.
    • Have the elf leave out ingredients for a special holiday breakfast.
  5. Adventurous Elf
    • Create a zip line for your elf using string and clothespins.
    • Set up a camping scene with a tissue paper tent and a small “campfire.”

Remember, the goal is to spark joy and excitement in your children each morning as they search for their elf’s new location.

Incorporating Positive Messages

As a pastor, I believe it’s important to use this tradition to reinforce positive values. Here are some ways to do that:

  1. Kindness Challenges
    • Have your elf leave notes suggesting kind deeds for the day, like helping a sibling or writing a thank-you note.
  2. Gratitude Practice
    • Let the elf “set up” a gratitude jar where family members can write things they’re thankful for.
  3. Charitable Acts
    • Have the elf suggest donating toys or clothes to those in need.
    • Set up a scene where the elf is “collecting” canned goods for a food drive.
  4. Family Time
    • Use the elf to suggest family activities like game night or reading Christmas stories together.
  5. Learning Opportunities
    • Have the elf leave educational activities related to Christmas traditions around the world.

Addressing Common Concerns

As fun as Elf on the Shelf can be, some parents have concerns about the tradition. Let’s address a few of these:

  1. Is it lying to my children?
    • Think of it as a game of make-believe that the whole family participates in, similar to other childhood traditions like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny.
    • Use it as an opportunity to discuss the difference between fun stories and real-life values.
  2. Does it promote materialism?
    • Focus on using the elf to encourage good behavior and kindness, rather than just getting presents.
    • Emphasize the joy of giving and helping others during the holiday season.
  3. What if I forget to move the elf?
    • Don’t panic! You can say the elf was so comfortable, it decided to stay in the same spot.
    • Or, quickly move the elf while the kids are distracted and say they must have missed it earlier.
  4. Is it too much work for parents?
    • Keep it simple. Not every pose needs to be elaborate.
    • Involve older children or your spouse to help come up with ideas and set up scenes.

Elf on the Shelf and Faith

As a pastor, I often get asked how Elf on the Shelf fits with Christian beliefs about Christmas. Here are my thoughts:

  1. Focus on the True Meaning of Christmas
    • Use the elf as a tool to reinforce the values of love, kindness, and giving that are central to the Christmas story.
    • Have the elf “set up” a nativity scene or leave Bible verses about Jesus’ birth.
  2. Balance Traditions
    • Incorporate Elf on the Shelf alongside other faith-based traditions like Advent calendars or Christmas Eve services.
    • Use the elf to encourage participation in church activities or charitable works.
  3. Teachable Moments
    • Use discussions about whether the elf is “real” to talk about faith, belief, and the difference between stories and spiritual truths.
  4. Emphasize Family and Community
    • Let the elf encourage activities that bring the family together and connect you with your church community.

Tips for Elf on the Shelf Success

To help make your Elf on the Shelf experience smooth and enjoyable, here are some practical tips:

  1. Plan Ahead
    • Keep a list of elf pose ideas so you’re not scrambling each night.
    • Set a reminder on your phone to move the elf before bed.
  2. Involve the Whole Family
    • Take turns deciding where to put the elf each night.
    • Let older children help with setting up scenes (while keeping the magic alive for younger ones).
  3. Document the Fun
    • Take photos of your elf’s adventures to look back on in future years.
    • Create a scrapbook or photo album of elf memories.
  4. Be Flexible
    • If you’re traveling during the holidays, explain that the elf is staying home to watch the house or meeting you at your destination.
    • Don’t stress if you miss a night or two – the elf can always leave a note explaining its absence.
  5. Set Boundaries
    • Decide in advance how long your elf will stay and stick to it.
    • Be clear about which areas of the house are off-limits for elf placement.

Elf on the Shelf Alternatives

While Elf on the Shelf is popular, it’s not the only option for creating Christmas magic. Here are some alternatives that might better suit your family:

  1. Kindness Elves
    • Similar to Elf on the Shelf, but focused on doing kind deeds rather than reporting behavior.
  2. Christmas Angel
    • A figure that appears around the house, encouraging good deeds and spreading Christmas cheer.
  3. Shepherd on the Search
    • A Christian alternative that focuses on finding the Christ child in the nativity scene.
  4. Mensch on a Bench
    • A Hanukkah-themed tradition similar to Elf on the Shelf.
  5. DIY Traditions
    • Create your own unique tradition using a special toy or figurine that’s meaningful to your family.

Conclusion: Making Memories with Elf on the Shelf

As we wrap up our discussion on Elf on the Shelf rules, I want to emphasize that the most important aspect of this tradition is the joy and togetherness it can bring to your family during the holiday season. Whether you choose to embrace Elf on the Shelf or create your own special tradition, the key is to focus on the values of love, kindness, and gratitude that are at the heart of Christmas.

Remember, the “rules” are really just guidelines to help make the experience magical for children. The true magic comes from the memories you create together as a family. Use this tradition as an opportunity to spark imagination, encourage good behavior, and most importantly, have fun!

As you celebrate this Christmas season, whether with an elf, another tradition, or simply by spending time together, I hope your home is filled with love, laughter, and the true spirit of Christmas. From all of us at the Korean Community Church of New Jersey, we wish you a joyful and blessed holiday season.

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